Please
by SoundlyUnspoken
Summary: Sharing an unexpected moment with Sydney reminds the separated Julia and Joel how good of a team they can be.


Joel looked at his watch for the third time in ten minutes. 7:17. He sat at the kitchen table across from Victor, a stack of perfectly golden pancakes centered between them.

"Syd, come on!" Joel called down the hallway. The school bus was scheduled to arrive at 7:30 and Sydney had been in the apartment's only bathroom all morning. The door opened.

"Finally," Victor said. He finished the last bite of pancake left on his plate and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

As Joel rinsed the syrup from Victor's plate, he realized Sydney still hadn't come to the table. He dropped the plate in the sink and headed to her room. His jaw dropped when he saw his daughter laying under her covers. He could tell by her sleeves she was still wearing her pajamas.

"Sydney, what are you doing?" Joel asked in disbelief. "You have five minutes to get your clothes on and get your butt out of this room."

He shut the door behind him, shaking his head. She had always been testy, and maybe that had been his fault for spoiling her when she was younger. His and Julia's. He cringed. At the sound of her name, even in his own mind, he had to fight tears from creeping into his eyes. He could still taste her soft lips on his, he remembered the way she smelled, even without perfume. And soon he'd probably have to face the fact that those memories were all he'd have left of her.

At 7:25, with still no sign of Sydney, Joel banged on her bedroom door. The door opened, slowly. Joel's face grew hot and he had to exhale to avoid just exploding. She was Still. In. Her. Pajamas. He opened his mouth, just about to lose it, when he noticed the wet streaks running down her cheeks. His jaw clamped shut and he knelt down in front of her.

His voice softened. "Syd, baby, what's wrong?"

She shook her head, her short brown hair swinging from side to side.

Joel checked his watch again. "Bug, the bus leaves in three minutes."

"I'm not going," Sydney said, folding her arms across her chest.

Victor appeared behind Joel suddenly. "If she's not going, I'm not," he said, matter-of-factly.

Joel turned to face him. "Victor. Grab your backpack and go wait outside. You're getting on that bus."

Something in his dad's voice told Victor he'd better not question him. Instead, the boy just threw his hands up in the air. "This is so unfair." He stormed off.

"She's going, too!" Joel called after him, exasperated.

"I can't," Sydney whined.

"Are you sick?" Joel asked, holding the back of his hand up to her forehead. She didn't feel warm.

Sydney shook her head. "I need Mom."

_So do I_, Joel thought. "Bug, Mom's at work, okay? Why don't you get dressed and I can drive you to school."

Sydney just stood there, arms still crossed, not budging. Joel sighed. "You can call her as soon as you get back from school, I promise."

She shook her head again. "I need Mom, now!" She yelled. She slammed the door in Joel's face and before he could get to his feet, he heard the lock click. "I need Mom, I need Mom, I need Mom!" She pounded the door with her fists.

Joel used the palm of his hand to pound on his own forehead. He could kick himself for forgetting to remove the locks after he'd moved in. He knew the separation was hard on her, it was hard on all of them, but still Sydney was way too old to be throwing these fits.

After ten minutes, Sydney had calmed down, but she still hadn't unlocked the door. Joel didn't know what to do. He bit his lip. _Damn it. Fine._ He pulled his cell phone from out of his pocket and walked into the living room.

The line rang twice before a voice picked up on the other end. "Put me through to Julia, please. It's her hus—uh, it's Joel."

On the last ring, she answered. "Hello?"

His eyes burned suddenly, and he felt like his airway might close.

"Joel?"

He cleared his throat. "Uh, hey. I…it's Sydney—"

"Sydney? Is she okay?"

He felt like an idiot. He couldn't even handle his own daughter. "I, well—she's fine. Victor caught the bus, but Syd won't come out of her room. She says she needs you."

There was a pause at the other end of the line. He swore he heard a sigh. Because he _was _an idiot, maybe? Or because she felt it too. The guilt.

"Joel, I mean, I—I'm at work, I can't just leave."

"Jules—"

"Please, don't call me that."

He felt his grip tighten around the phone. Couldn't she understand that Sydney needed her? That _he _needed her? He set his jaw. "I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't an absolute last resort." That came out wrong. He hoped she wouldn't take it the wrong way. "It's just…it feels different this time. Like something's really wrong, but I can't get it out of her."

Another long pause. He pictured Julia checking her watch. Finally, her voice came. "I have a meeting in ten minutes. Maybe I can get out of it."

He couldn't help it, he was desperate. "Oh, Julia, thank you—"

"Yeah. I have to go, Joel."

He nodded, as if she were right next to him. Before he could respond, the line went dead.

* * *

><p><em>Damn it, Joel<em>. Julia had just dropped the kids off with him last night. He couldn't even last one day without a problem. Okay, maybe that wasn't fair. She knew the kids, especially Sydney, could be a handful. And she knew, had the situation been reversed, she probably would've given in, too. So why was she so angry?

She didn't want to see him. She couldn't stand seeing him. Every time she was around him, she felt herself getting flustered, slipping, losing control. And, Julia, she hated to lose control.

She pushed down the button on her intercom.

"Ms. Graham?"

Julia bit her lip. "Braverman," she reminded her new secretary for what had to be the fortieth time. She wasn't divorced, not yet, but she couldn't bear to hear his last name right now, even if it was also her own.

"Right, sorry. Yes, Ms. Braverman?"

"I'm not going to be able to make my eight o'clock meeting."

"I'll let them know."

Julia stood up and yanked her desk drawer open. She grabbed her keys, threw her purse over her shoulder, and slammed the drawer as hard as she could. Sometimes Julia could understand why Sydney threw fits, even if she should've already outgrown them. It felt good to let out some of that rage that was constantly boiling beneath her skin.

She pulled into Joel's apartment complex a half an hour later. Just as she raised her hand to knock, he pulled open the door. Their eyes met, and neither one said a word. Joel stood in the doorway, filling the frame. A crease formed above his furrowed eyebrows that told her he was perplexed.

"Can I…?" She pointed inside.

"Oh. Yeah. Of course, sorry," Joel stammered. He moved aside so she could come in. "I'm really worried about her, Julia. She wouldn't come out even to eat this morning, and she wouldn't get ready for school. She's not sick, she just flat out refuses."

Julia nodded. "I wonder if something happened at school."

His brown eyes met hers. Pleading. "I don't know."

"Me neither," Julia replied. "I'll go talk to her."

Joel pointed her in the direction of the room, not hard to find in his tiny apartment. She felt another stab of guilt at that. She swallowed it as she raised a fist to knock on Sydney's door.

"Syd? It's Mom. Can I come in?"

It took a few minutes, but just as Julia was about to accept defeat and go back to Joel for Plan B, the door creaked open. Julia felt her stomach churn as she looked down at her daughter. Sydney looked so small, standing there in her pajamas, pale and shaking. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks splotched pink. As soon as Julia knelt down, Sydney looped her arms over her mother's neck, clinging to her in a tight hug.

Julia wanted nothing more in that moment than to pick her daughter up and cradle her in her arms, to shield her from this world, from this pain that they all felt. But she couldn't. Sydney was too old for that. So Julia wrapped her arms around her daughter, and that would have to suffice.

"Sweetie, Daddy said you needed to talk to me. What's wrong?"

Sydney loosened her grip and peered over Julia's shoulder. She reached past her mother and pushed the door shut.

"Sydney?" Julia prodded.

Sydney shook her head. Her face turned a deeper pink and she stared at her feet. What was going on? Julia wondered. Her daughter looked embarrassed, or ashamed.

"Come on, Bug. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Sydney bit her lip. Slowly, she turned around. At first, Julia was confused. Was her daughter still trying to avoid talking to her, or was she trying to show her something? And then she saw it. Julia's heart nearly dropped out of her chest; or at least that's what it felt like. On the butt of Sydney's blue cotton pajama pants, there was a baseball-sized red stain.

Julia felt tears well in her eyes, she couldn't help it. "Oh, Syd. Come here!" Sydney turned around and Julia took her in her arms, her not-so-little girl.

"Why are you crying? Am I dying?" Sydney asked, panicked.

Julia laughed and used the back of her hand to dry her eyes. "No, Syd. We've talked about this, remember? You just got your first period. Baby, I'm so proud of you."

Sydney scrunched up her face. "Why?"

Julia chuckled. "Because, you're a woman now!"

"What if I don't want to be a woman?" Sydney asked. "What if I still want to be a kid?"

Julia looked her daughter in the eye. "Bug, you can be whatever you want to be. But I'm still proud of you." She kissed her daughter on the forehead.

Julia reached into her purse, still slung over her shoulder, and pulled out a small, square, yellow package. It would do for now.

"Grab some new underwear, I'll show you how to put this on."

* * *

><p>Joel was pacing the hallway. What on Earth was going on in there? Julia, or maybe it was Sydney, had closed the door on him in his own apartment. And he didn't know what it was, but something was wrong with his daughter. He felt anxious and overwhelmed with concern, and with guilt for not being able to console her.<p>

He heard the doorknob turn and he jumped. Julia walked into the hallway, shut the door behind her, and leaned back against the wall. Joel looked at her in anticipation.

Julia drew in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. "I…was not expecting that," she admitted. She looked at Joel.

What the hell could it be? He wondered. If even Julia, the strongest woman he knew, the woman who could walk into a courtroom and deliver a breathtaking speech like it was nothing, if she was caught off-guard, then how bad was this? But he looked at Julia, and, while she seemed a little taken aback, she didn't seem worried.

"Well?" He asked. What was the reason he'd had to call Julia away from work, the big deal his own daughter couldn't talk to him about?

Julia caught his eye. "She started her period, Joel."

Oh.

* * *

><p>It was Joel's turn to slump against the wall. He stood across from Julia, the color drained from his face. She couldn't help it, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. He wore the same expression on his face as he had when Sydney had been born. He looked terrified. Thrilled, but terrified.<p>

"She's barely eleven," Joel said when he finally spoke.

"I know," Julia said. "Apparently she's an early bloomer."

"Is it...is that normal?" He asked.

Julia shrugged. "I started mine when I was twelve. Sarah got hers right before she turned twelve. It can happen at any age around there, really. Usually it's between ten and fourteen."

Joel ran his hand over his face, bringing it down to rub his chin. She knew he was thinking, hard. She could also feel, by memory, the way his stubble scraped against his fingers as he rubbed over it.

"So, what do we do?" He finally asked.

_What _do _we do? _She wanted to ask him. But she didn't. "Well. She's changing right now, and then I told her we'd drop her off at school."

"You think she's okay to go to school like this?" He asked.

It was one of the things Julia loved about him the most; he was such a good father. Watching him so worked up over this reminded her of that. And she felt bad for the guy, who clearly was about as ready as she was for their little girl to grow up. She wanted to hug him, tell him that everything would, in fact, be okay. But she couldn't. And she didn't even know if _everything _would be okay, as badly as she wanted it to be.

"She'll be fine, Joel. Trust me," Julia said, with a comforting smile. Trust her. Did he?

He just nodded, with closed eyes, and tilted his head back against the wall.

At that moment, Sydney's door swung open. She walked out past them, backpack on her shoulders.

Julia caught up to her in the living room, Joel trailing behind. Julia grabbed a couple more pads from her purse, unzipped the front pocket of Sydney's backpack and stuffed them in there. She zipped the pouch back up, and patted it. "Just in case, okay, babe?"

Sydney nodded. She looked up at her parents. "Ready?"

"Just a minute, Syd," Julia said. She looked up at Joel and then back at her daughter. "I want you to know that it's okay to talk to Daddy about these things, too. If you have any questions or if you need anything while I'm not here, you don't have to call just me, okay? You can ask Dad."

Joel looked at her and mouthed _'thank you.' _Julia nodded.

"You _told _him?" Sydney asked, her cheeks flushing.

Joel knelt down and beckoned Sydney over to him. She hesitated for a moment, but then she walked into his arms. "I love you, Bug," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. And Julia swore there were tears in his eyes.

"Love you too, Daddy."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you don't want me to wait in the car?" Joel asked, as they walked through the sliding doors of the drug store. They'd just dropped Sydney off at school.<p>

"You're going to have to know which ones to get, too, Dad," Julia said with a wink.

"God there are so many options," Joel said staring at the wall before him.

Here they were at the drug store buying, God help him, _pads _for his baby girl, and right now, he couldn't think of any place in the world he'd rather be. And he could not stop thinking about how beautiful Julia was.

She pulled four cardboard boxes off the wall and tossed them into the basket looped over her forearm.

"Does she really need that many?" Joel asked. What did he know? From what he could remember, Julia kept only one, maybe two, boxes in their bathroom cupboard. Well, _h__er_ bathroom cupboard.

"Well, I figured one box of pads, and maybe she'll want to try tampons."

His head was spinning. Joel loved Sydney, but God, this was almost too much. "Okay, so that's two. You have four in there," he pointed out.

Any trace of a smile faded from Julia's face. "Yeah, uh. Two for my house, two for yours." Her eyes shifted to the floor, avoiding his.

Joel froze. He didn't care where he was right now, he couldn't do this. He grabbed the basket from Julia and set two of the boxes back on the shelf.

"Joel—"

"No," he said, firmly. "Today, I watched our little girl grow up way too fast. And you know what? There are going to be more moments like this. It's not going to stop. I don't want to do this alone, Julia. Today, we were a team. When we were taking turns trying to figure out what was wrong and how to fix it, when we were talking in the hallway, it was the first time in months that I wasn't thinking about _us_. And it's because I didn't have to. I don't want it to be you parenting our kids on weekends and me on weekdays. I want it to be us, together, every day. For the rest of our lives, like we promised."

Julia shook her head. "Joel, I—I can't do this. Please," she whispered.

But there were tears in her eyes, he saw them, and that meant there was still something there. That meant there was hope. He dropped the basket in his hand and walked toward her. She didn't flinch when he took her face, her soft skin, in his hands.

"Please," he whispered, repeating her own statement. He looked into her eyes, really looked, and he saw the woman he had always loved. "Julia, I was stupid. I treated you terribly, I shut you out—"

"But the thing with Ed—"

"I don't care about Ed, Julia. I was a dick. I walked out on you when what I should've done was forgive you. Which is what I'm doing now. I love you, and I'm asking you to forgive me. I'm asking you for one more chance."

There was a long silence. Tears streamed down her cheeks, wetting his fingers, but he still held her there. He searched her eyes with his own, demanding an answer. There was so much about this that was complicated. If she would do what he was asking of her, they would have to move everything back into the house; they would be switching it up, again, on their kids, confusing them even more; they would have to talk and argue and sort things through; but he wanted that, he wanted all of it. And his kids would understand. They would be happy. He'd replayed the scenario over and over in his head, and each time his dream had come true. But in his head, it was different. In his head, he was the only one who had to decide what happened. In reality, it came down to the two of them. He was willing. Was she?

"Okay," Julia whispered.

"Okay?" Joel asked. He practically yelled it.

"Okay," Julia confirmed. She nodded, sniffing, and burying her face in his chest.

Joel couldn't stop himself from laughing in relief. He used his hand to tilt Julia's face up toward his, and he did what he'd been dying to do since the moment he'd walked out of their front door. With tears running down his cheeks, he kissed her. Hard.

"We're going to tell this story differently, right?" Julia asked, breaking away from his kiss.

"What?" Joel asked.

"When my family asks what happened, what brought us back together, we're not going to tell them we made out in the middle of the feminine hygiene aisle, are we?"

Joel laughed. "I think we should tell it exactly how it happened." He grabbed the basket from the floor, put an arm around his wife's shoulders, and kissed her on the head. In the middle of that drug store, his entire world had come together again.


End file.
